Happy, or Maybe Not

Happiness is a tricky deal. I am coming to believe that no one is really happy at all even if they looked so to every one else. People surrounded by lots of blessings usually stop noticing them and it's as if they itch for trouble. They always make it to finding a thought, a memory, a feeling or anything to stay up all night hurting over it. People don't look for happiness, they feverishly seek disturbances.

A disturbing situation is when you look people who have been extremely unfortunate in life in the eye, and find yourself thinking "Thank God I'm not them!". It kind of gets to your better opinion of yourself, specially when you're supposed to be their care giver. You pity them tremendously but not enough to accept trading places with them. It seems odd, but you simultaneously wonder why you got to have so many graces and they ended up with nothing at all. You're not immune, anything can happen to you at any time too but for some reason it hasn't happened yet. You're suddenly taken over by this awkward fear of finding yourself really in their place. You shake your head in an attempt to cast these disturbing thoughts out of your mind, and the only thing you can do is thank God for the graces you're granted at the moment and pray for them to be consoled and supported by Him through their hardships. 

And then may be blessings are not a good enough reason for happiness. The most brilliant life can make you miserable if it has been forced upon you. But at least you'll have the comfort of knowing that you couldn't help it with your unhappiness. The real agony is when you've made a challenging choice that turns out to be just the thing that would vanquish your peace of mind. So it comes down to this most of the time: Be it your choice or not, there are times when absolute happiness lies in understanding one fact about life; the fact is that there are times  when you have to completely put aside everything you love for the sake of completely giving yourself away to just one thing that you don't like that much but you have to do anyway. Don't indulge in the sweet mourning of your lost happiness, focus as hard as you can to get the task done as fast as possible and you'll feel a lot better when it's over and you know you've done it right even though you didn't like doing it. Stand up to the responsibility of the choices you've made, and maybe you'll find out one day you were only made for doing that one task right, and maybe you'll even come to liking it after all.